Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What bias is this. Surely not gender bias!!!!!

I don't know what prompted my neurons to suddenly get connected in the way that led me to the recollection of our TA202 class in the year 1999 in my college.
Anyway, poor neurons, though they never grow in number since the time human being is born, but they play the most important role just by their "connections" and reconnections (connections are really important, you see!!)
We were around 200 students (EE, CSE and few other branches combined) attending the most boring class I have ever attended in my life - TA202. (As I said, all I remember about the class is that it used to be conducted in LH2 (second largest lecture hall)). Almost all the people used to get bored in the class but none dare bunk it because the instructor (May his soul rest in peace) had made the attendance mandatory and he was notorious for no mercy to defaulters (he had a history of it.historysheeter :-))
Not only that, he used to get the back-door locked exactly at 8:00 am in the morning. Only the front door used to remain open, from which nobody could enter without the instructor watching him/her.
So, as was the custom, as soon as the 8:00 bell rang, the guys sitting nearest to the doors (I wonder what the motivation might have been, for sitting there, except the sadist pleasure in watching few people missing the class and hence their attendence by whiskers!!!) moved from their positions to close the doors. Just then appeared a girl from MME department on the left door, to attend the class. The instructor saw her. She started apologising for the same but the instructor didn't want(probably) to set wrong precedent. She was not allowed in and the side doors were closed.
5 minutes, mind u, its 300 seconds!!!!!!, later appears the sex-bomb of our batch, to attend the class. Obviously, her appearance was noticed only because she appeared on the FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!
The dilemma on the instructor's face was evident (had there been any lady instructor, i wonder if she would have been in a dilemma. I guess not). I am surprised how can I forget her name, but anyway, the girl waves her hand in some strange way, I guess some typical style to bowl over people like him, and says that her cycle broke down. The whole class was howling/shrieking/../.. but that didn't affect the instructor an iota. He was totally bowled over already and lets in the sex-bomb to the class!!!!!!!
She was not that thankless afterall and she came and sat at one of the emplty seats on the FRONT bench. le lo buddhe tum bhi nayansukh!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Satyadeo ka naashta kisne churaaya

time: 16:40 hours (on someday of the year 1995)
Room number 1, Prem Aashram, Netarhat School, Ranchi, Bihar, India
(From next scenes, all other parts of address would remain the same so only the rooms would be mentioned)
Faira (Sorry, I can't recollect the parent-given-name of this 3-yrs-junior-to-me guy as the senior-given-name is too sacred to be forgotten) enters with a tray full of "SHAKARPAARE". He puts some barely perceptible amount of the sweet snacks on the 3 cupboards on the 3 corners of the room. Then he moves to the 4th corner which is evidently entirely different from the other corners. There is a big almirah, two cupboards entirely surrounding the bed, and a table with stuffs like a pen, nice looking table-watch, hair-cream etc., all seized from juniors. Well, this is the DEN of the most dreadfully-respected seniormost, Satyadeo-ji. He is not to be seen (Its "swadhyaay" time and not a soul is supposed to be anywhere else but at his bed, reading. Of course the guy who has to serve the evening-snacks is an exception as the school's tight routine only gives you 15mts between the time swadyaay ends and the time you are supposed to be at the gound for evening games). Well, Faira knows (EVERYBODY knows, for that matter) what to do. He fishes out as much of shakkarpaara as his smalls fists can manage, from the tray, puts it into satyadeo ji's marked bowl for snacks, which is too capitalist for the socialist principles of school. He repeats the ritual as the bowl is still too empty to avoid Satyadeo ji's wrath if its left like that. He is still not satisfied. Finally he empties almost 20% of the shakkarpaara on 1 person's bowl while there are 20 people to be given the snacks. Doesn't matter. Is that respect/care/../..??? Yes, its all those feelings which made him do so. But how did it all arise? Simply because of FEAR. Not a soul dare invite Satyadeo ji's wrath.

time: 18:35 hrs
Room number 2.
Anand, one of the 4 guys who are not scared of Satyadeo ji as they are from the same "seniormost" batch, and Satyadeo are having a deep discussion on how could the impossible occurance of Satyadeo's share of snacks got stolen, happen!!!! These two make wonderful friends (they still do) and now its a BIG thing that has happened and so they have got to do something about it. Anyway, Anand shares his if-not-20%-of-the-total-share-but-still-more-than-15% shakkarpaare with Satyadeo. Suddenly, in midst of the discussion, Satyadeo shouts "SITTU, IDHAR SUN BE. POORE HOUSE MIEN JISKE JISKE PAAS SHAKKARPAARA BACHA HUA HAI, LEKAR AA. ZALDI. BHAAG."
Anyway, aftersometime, the whole house is asked to come to Room Number 2. To Anand ji's room. He is the prefect afterall. Its Swadhaayay time again but School rules were written by few old people who succumbed to mortality long back, while senior's wishes/orders/whims are immortal. So, the whole bunch of 16 juniors appear in the room. All standing.
Satyadeo asks, just to make sure, James, Surd and Bhadar, if they took it. Being fellow batchmates, there are otherways of dealing with them, not the same way as you deal with juniiors doing such acts. After repated asking, its assumed they didn't do this. Then Satyadeo asks the juniors, does anybody wish to confess. Obvious answer. Its anybody's guess what would happen if anybody confesses.
Well, the the whole house (guys ranging form class VII to class X, aged between 12 and 17 yrs) is warned that now there are some nice expletives for the person who stole the shakkarpaaras and since nobody accepts stealing it, so lets enjoy the expletives to be bestowed on the person who stole it.
Everybody HAS to agree. Satyadeo again asks the three fellow batchmates. Its agreed upon to go ahead with the proceedings.
Mind you, its the age when some are aware of human-physiology and the terms associated with it and the popular terms for them, some are not at all aware and some might be more gyaani. But one thing is sure, none are so matured to not take the expletives of those kinds, personally, if its directed at them. So, begins the torrent of the most innovative expletives the audience of 19 ever witnessed. Starting from the "origin", (wherefrom the human lifeform originates), the expletives keep getting more and more innovative. Anand is roaring with laughter and so is Surd. Surprisingly James is quiet and Bhadar is too serious to be affected by all this as his mind is probably elsewhere (he must be thinking about the window-pane of the bio-lab he broke the other night to take out the skeleton to be hung on the school-main-building, which is a ritual of few chosen ones of every batch, to show the "machopana" of the batch. This was the batch of 1996 afterall). Juniors dare not laugh as its against the protocol to laugh, in front of seniors. They try hard to control the laughter. Anyway, the expletives, after exploring the body parts of the near and dear ones of the "thief", moves to one level higher to those parts being used used by other life forms like pigs as shitpots and the level just keep getting higher and expletives almost taking form of poetry. What a remarkable show it was. The show goes on for 40 minutes and then everybody is sent back to their respective rooms for swadhyaay.