Thursday, February 04, 2010

I am an SRK fan

I didn't like him that much for simple reasons of individual's preferences when is comes to which actors you like to watch and enjoy the movies of. But with his viewpoint regarding india's (of the mass ) stand/opinion on IPL-Pakistan-Cricketers-treatment and then his stand against Shiv Sena, I fully support him and I really appreciate his gesture when he could have simply apologized and ensure his movie does well and make lots of money for him. I hope people will get inspired as many people have similar feelings but theirs' don't count but his does.
Somebody needs to do something about Maharashtra. If the majority like Shiv Sena stand, state ONLY for locals, I think they are asking for a federal state, some new article like 356 for Maharashtra needs to be made. Let it be then made public and lets see if Maharashtra can thrive with isolation from India.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

limit of human apathy

Since last 24 hours, the image of an indian police officer is swirling around in my head. Though the image as telecasted on the tv was a blur, it can be imagined what must have been the expression and what thoughts must have been going through his mind. I must confess, this one has been the WORST image of India I ever got.
The same camera when panned sideways, showed so many people, a fleet of cars - all came to halt there but just to watch the man dying!!!!!!!
We say we are so sensitive to people's emotion. Where was all that when all one needed was initiative to help him. With the fleet of cars around, had even a single man tried to help him, nobody could have denied yielding (I wont use 'offering') his vehicle for help. But no, the politicians/beurocrats and their men were busy watching and camerman was busy filming.
Not a single person present there should ever in their life blame police or any other civilian for not helping him/her when need arises. I am sure their guilt feeling would haunt them throughout their life.
My concept in God is only on basis of the uncertainties which are beyond our control.
But for the rest, if I make a mistake, my guilt has haunted me enough that I try my best to keep far from mistakes. But the problem is what do you do to a inhuman, in form of human being, who has no mind/feelings of his own, and has learnt that keep committing mistakes and goto a temple and the supreme power will wipe off all your sins.
Seems the concept of God/religious-books/religion telling us the moral principles and code of conduct is not working. Atleast the portion of getting rid of your sins should be removed. I simply wish if you make mistakes, one should be taught to live with them all their life. Let them be known there is no way out, as there isn't any.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


'Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools'
Douglas Bader (google the name to know about this legend)
So are the popular quotations from holy scriptures or great men.
Its said, 'neki kar aur dariya mein daal'. I'll rather say 'jo-man-aaye-so-kar and dariya mein daal'. Since you already use the word 'neki' the whole essence of the quote is already lost. So, if you use it with the word 'neki' in mind, rather don't do it.
But what happens is that when you do it, you do it with love as you think the people you do it for, appreciate it and will remember it. (Just a extrapolation of the expectations of it is that ,in return, you desire, they will also start loving you in the same way you love them). And, its very understandable to expect reciprocation. Even a mother won't keep loving her child the way she does if she is never able to see the effervescent smile of a baby(can anybody check out this psychological experiment!!!!)
But, it does hurt a lot if that reciprocation is not received. (In my postings, long back, I wrote that whate'er happens to you, its because of you, nobody else). So, how do you save yourself from this very general problem.
Simply, stop 'neki kar and dariya mein daal' and simply do whate'er pleases you.
As I already emphasized Douglas Bader's quote, 'following your desires' is for those 'intelligent' people (who are not going to follow those desires which can destroy them). So, if it pleases to help somebody, help him/her but if it doesn't please you, simply don't do it. If it pleases you to love somebody, do it.
But then, who doesn't want to be loved by those whom you love. Then what do you do. With the realisation that it was all your desire to love those people whom you did, you won't feel (that) bad if its not reciprocated. Sounds inhuman. Maybe, but somehow God is there to keep the humanity preserved. He (almost) make sure, sometime or other, few people do come into your life who are able to penetrate your 'cold' heart and generate in you, a strong desire to be loved by them and most importantly, they also love you!!!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

What type of person you are

While chopping capsicum, for the filling inside improvised-samosa, a sudden thought flashed by my mind.
How can one best identify the type of person one is. Is it by the way he acts or is it by the way he 'reacts'?
Or maybe both of the things are equally important hallmarks of a person.
But, atleast at the moment of chopping capsicum, I felt its the later. How you react to a particular situation shows those aspects of yourself to you which you might not even have been aware of, yourself.
The way we solve linear equations - If there are constraints, unique solutions exist else there are innumerable solutions. Similarly, when constrained by the situations you fall in, your real traits manifest themselves than when acting with free will.
Now, after Socrates (not the brazilian football player), I think I am doing good at proving things with logics/analogies.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What bias is this. Surely not gender bias!!!!!

I don't know what prompted my neurons to suddenly get connected in the way that led me to the recollection of our TA202 class in the year 1999 in my college.
Anyway, poor neurons, though they never grow in number since the time human being is born, but they play the most important role just by their "connections" and reconnections (connections are really important, you see!!)
We were around 200 students (EE, CSE and few other branches combined) attending the most boring class I have ever attended in my life - TA202. (As I said, all I remember about the class is that it used to be conducted in LH2 (second largest lecture hall)). Almost all the people used to get bored in the class but none dare bunk it because the instructor (May his soul rest in peace) had made the attendance mandatory and he was notorious for no mercy to defaulters (he had a history of it.historysheeter :-))
Not only that, he used to get the back-door locked exactly at 8:00 am in the morning. Only the front door used to remain open, from which nobody could enter without the instructor watching him/her.
So, as was the custom, as soon as the 8:00 bell rang, the guys sitting nearest to the doors (I wonder what the motivation might have been, for sitting there, except the sadist pleasure in watching few people missing the class and hence their attendence by whiskers!!!) moved from their positions to close the doors. Just then appeared a girl from MME department on the left door, to attend the class. The instructor saw her. She started apologising for the same but the instructor didn't want(probably) to set wrong precedent. She was not allowed in and the side doors were closed.
5 minutes, mind u, its 300 seconds!!!!!!, later appears the sex-bomb of our batch, to attend the class. Obviously, her appearance was noticed only because she appeared on the FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!
The dilemma on the instructor's face was evident (had there been any lady instructor, i wonder if she would have been in a dilemma. I guess not). I am surprised how can I forget her name, but anyway, the girl waves her hand in some strange way, I guess some typical style to bowl over people like him, and says that her cycle broke down. The whole class was howling/shrieking/../.. but that didn't affect the instructor an iota. He was totally bowled over already and lets in the sex-bomb to the class!!!!!!!
She was not that thankless afterall and she came and sat at one of the emplty seats on the FRONT bench. le lo buddhe tum bhi nayansukh!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Satyadeo ka naashta kisne churaaya

time: 16:40 hours (on someday of the year 1995)
Room number 1, Prem Aashram, Netarhat School, Ranchi, Bihar, India
(From next scenes, all other parts of address would remain the same so only the rooms would be mentioned)
Faira (Sorry, I can't recollect the parent-given-name of this 3-yrs-junior-to-me guy as the senior-given-name is too sacred to be forgotten) enters with a tray full of "SHAKARPAARE". He puts some barely perceptible amount of the sweet snacks on the 3 cupboards on the 3 corners of the room. Then he moves to the 4th corner which is evidently entirely different from the other corners. There is a big almirah, two cupboards entirely surrounding the bed, and a table with stuffs like a pen, nice looking table-watch, hair-cream etc., all seized from juniors. Well, this is the DEN of the most dreadfully-respected seniormost, Satyadeo-ji. He is not to be seen (Its "swadhyaay" time and not a soul is supposed to be anywhere else but at his bed, reading. Of course the guy who has to serve the evening-snacks is an exception as the school's tight routine only gives you 15mts between the time swadyaay ends and the time you are supposed to be at the gound for evening games). Well, Faira knows (EVERYBODY knows, for that matter) what to do. He fishes out as much of shakkarpaara as his smalls fists can manage, from the tray, puts it into satyadeo ji's marked bowl for snacks, which is too capitalist for the socialist principles of school. He repeats the ritual as the bowl is still too empty to avoid Satyadeo ji's wrath if its left like that. He is still not satisfied. Finally he empties almost 20% of the shakkarpaara on 1 person's bowl while there are 20 people to be given the snacks. Doesn't matter. Is that respect/care/../..??? Yes, its all those feelings which made him do so. But how did it all arise? Simply because of FEAR. Not a soul dare invite Satyadeo ji's wrath.

time: 18:35 hrs
Room number 2.
Anand, one of the 4 guys who are not scared of Satyadeo ji as they are from the same "seniormost" batch, and Satyadeo are having a deep discussion on how could the impossible occurance of Satyadeo's share of snacks got stolen, happen!!!! These two make wonderful friends (they still do) and now its a BIG thing that has happened and so they have got to do something about it. Anyway, Anand shares his if-not-20%-of-the-total-share-but-still-more-than-15% shakkarpaare with Satyadeo. Suddenly, in midst of the discussion, Satyadeo shouts "SITTU, IDHAR SUN BE. POORE HOUSE MIEN JISKE JISKE PAAS SHAKKARPAARA BACHA HUA HAI, LEKAR AA. ZALDI. BHAAG."
Anyway, aftersometime, the whole house is asked to come to Room Number 2. To Anand ji's room. He is the prefect afterall. Its Swadhaayay time again but School rules were written by few old people who succumbed to mortality long back, while senior's wishes/orders/whims are immortal. So, the whole bunch of 16 juniors appear in the room. All standing.
Satyadeo asks, just to make sure, James, Surd and Bhadar, if they took it. Being fellow batchmates, there are otherways of dealing with them, not the same way as you deal with juniiors doing such acts. After repated asking, its assumed they didn't do this. Then Satyadeo asks the juniors, does anybody wish to confess. Obvious answer. Its anybody's guess what would happen if anybody confesses.
Well, the the whole house (guys ranging form class VII to class X, aged between 12 and 17 yrs) is warned that now there are some nice expletives for the person who stole the shakkarpaaras and since nobody accepts stealing it, so lets enjoy the expletives to be bestowed on the person who stole it.
Everybody HAS to agree. Satyadeo again asks the three fellow batchmates. Its agreed upon to go ahead with the proceedings.
Mind you, its the age when some are aware of human-physiology and the terms associated with it and the popular terms for them, some are not at all aware and some might be more gyaani. But one thing is sure, none are so matured to not take the expletives of those kinds, personally, if its directed at them. So, begins the torrent of the most innovative expletives the audience of 19 ever witnessed. Starting from the "origin", (wherefrom the human lifeform originates), the expletives keep getting more and more innovative. Anand is roaring with laughter and so is Surd. Surprisingly James is quiet and Bhadar is too serious to be affected by all this as his mind is probably elsewhere (he must be thinking about the window-pane of the bio-lab he broke the other night to take out the skeleton to be hung on the school-main-building, which is a ritual of few chosen ones of every batch, to show the "machopana" of the batch. This was the batch of 1996 afterall). Juniors dare not laugh as its against the protocol to laugh, in front of seniors. They try hard to control the laughter. Anyway, the expletives, after exploring the body parts of the near and dear ones of the "thief", moves to one level higher to those parts being used used by other life forms like pigs as shitpots and the level just keep getting higher and expletives almost taking form of poetry. What a remarkable show it was. The show goes on for 40 minutes and then everybody is sent back to their respective rooms for swadhyaay.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Pranay tussi great ho

It was the first day (some day in Feb, 1996) of our Board (Xth) exams. I was standing alone waiting for the exam to start. Nobody was allowed to talk to me as the batch (of 100) had decided to boycott me. To top up my plight, this was my first ever public exam. I was wathcing my friends talking/discussing/fighting/.. till somebody shouted my name and I saw Pranay waving his hand, saying Hi to me!!!!!!
That too in front of whole of the batch. I was extremely happy and I knew he is the only person in the batch who could do this. In fact, the reason of his doing this was simply that here was a guy whom the majority was against. Then, what better chance to show his anti-establishment views, which he had (I'll say still has) ardent faith in. Only he could dare do this (he didn't have to dare, for him its natural), nobody else in the batch could. (I remember on few occasstions bumping into Onkar, Rajeev, Santosh or few more, of course one at a time, and they confiding in me that they don't want to boycott me but they hope I did understand what the batch-pressure was like). Pranay and I were never mates enough to pass my judgement if we were good or bad mates. But that day, his gesture made my day. Surprisingly, my exams didn't take a hit (atleast results said so, I can't say in absolute sense) by this month-long boycott by my batchmates.
(Let me tell the reason as people may take me or others in wrong opinion if reason is not stated, for the boycott:
As every year, some mischievous guys did some mischief and then they got identified. School-admin decided, as everytime, to give them some punishment. Few genius in the batch came up with a idea that they can punish few, not all. (George Orwell's "Animal Farm" in practice!!!!) The masses didn't have much clue. "Everybody" was just told to do what "everybody" was doing which was actually being decided by "Few". Masses complied. I happenned to be aware (I was not inside) of the core-team's decision. I said, its stupid idea, but since I was almost a non-entity, nobody cared. All I could do was telling them that I wont join them. Nobody took it seriously till I really defied!!!!!! They all suddenly vanished from school, in the wee-hours, with me left for grilling by teachers asking where did the 100 students vanished!!!!! 4 years of training - I clearly expressed my ignorance about all my friends, where they were and all, and techers didn't pressurize me enough, as they might have foreseen my situation and they didn't want to add to my sorry situation. Well, for me, it was not a matter of anti-establishment or any such thing. Simple thing was I was the first guy in my school to clear Math Olympiad (still in Xth) and I didn't want to loose the next-level opportunity for some reasons I could not justify. Anyway, whatever my reason, the boycott was imminent and I wont say, totally unjustified.)
Anyway, where was our esteemed friend Pranay then. FYI, he was rusticated from school till the board exams, as punishment (ek reason ho tab to likhoon!!!!)
If I have ever seen a guy totally unafraid of society, its him. Sometimes he seem to be unaware of its presence.
This reminds me of a very interesting story of his.
Of course, its natural for parents to be worried about such a kid. His mom somehow convinced him to take him to some REAL famous jyotisi. New challenge, Pranay complied. There the jyotisi ji thought of first building some relation as well as asserting some of his prowess. So he asked Pranay if he wanted "Agra ka petha" or "Kolkata ka Rosogolla" (he used to produce things like this outof thin air!!!!). I have spent sometime with him and I can easily imagine the glint in his eyes that must have had appeared. He, jumping with joy, asked "humein to Asansol ki sonpapadi chahiye"!!!!! Just imagine his mom's condition!!!!! but he does this as he just doesn't give a damn about all this craps. If you wanna assert your authority, act and prove it, don't pretend. If the jyotisiji had the power, he should not feel offended by someguy really challenging it.
I really sometimes wish, I could pick some such traits of his. Almost total fearlessness. He might fear some goons' thrashing (that too his threshold is way higher than we mortals can imagine) but he has no fear of future, society, nothing. What I have learned is that its difficult to imbibe this fearlessness once you are gorwn up. I have seen him since we were 12 years of age. He has always been like this. I think he is a child who have really been groomed with fearlessness instilled in him. (But then why is his one-year younger brother, just like me and all, I cann't comprehend). I agree, it so extremely difficult to handle him. In fact there are only 4-5 people left in the batch whom he doesn't find irritating and doesn't mind talking to. But how good things could be if every child grows with no concept of fear of people/society/../... as long as they know don't cross into others' domain, whats better. Yes, the majority in the society don't like such people. Around 80% of my batch avoid Pranay for simple reason that he is so straight-forward that it becomes insulting to you sometimes. (I agree that if he gets mean, since he has not much idea of protocols, he would straight-forwardly insult you!!!! But then thats what he meant to do, so why pretending!!!!
But, still, courtsey, protocols etc. etc. are much easier to learn, but truth, honesty, fearlessness etc. are some virtues we should try to groom in kids more. Rest they can decide if they wanna pick or not.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

october of 1997

All of a sudden, memory of a quite-funny-now-but-just-the-opposite-back-then episode, passed by my thoughts.
On one of the october evenings of 1997, during the regular evening power-cuts, me, Jawahar and two more batchmates of Intermediate-Science, 2nd year, were seated on the floor of my room, making attempts to study in the light of the lantern, but actually trying to decide whose food was less worse - bholaji's or ramnareshji's (they were the proprieters of the two food-messes of our hostel). It was a nice evening, with usual bulla sessions on full swing with no time-wastage-guilt-feeling as we had so many books lying all around us on the floor(!!!!), until two guys appeared at the door asking "Anand Gaurav kaun hai?".
The manner of asking was much too gentle to suit their appearances (its not in hindsight, but even then I could notice that) but anyway, I being the only Anand Gaurav in that room, thought of satisfying their curiosity, Though, I was not stranger to strange guys knocking at my room for some reasons or other (justified ones though), this one did make me uneasy.
When you have been studying in a college like mine, Patna Science College , which is surrounded by great(!!!!) academic institutions (where frequecnt police raids are much less commonplace than much worse regular occurrences) you get too familiar with the faces like those two which had appeared at my hostelroom-doorstep that night. The faces that makes people like me try their best to avoid. But of course you can't show you are scared so you do face them if it comes to it and face them with full confidence (your surviving-instincts is already working hard to bail you out meanwhile).
Suddenly another episode, about few months back, flashed by me. It was when a guy in white starched kurta-payjama barged in our room (we used to be 4 people in one room during that time in ISc 1st year) and sat on one guy's bed resuting which the two guys of that side of the room got up. He started talking nonsense to them with uncouth-confidence oozing out of him. Since I was getting disturbed, I started commenting loudly about useless people disturbing sincere students and kept increasing my voice till he BARKED!!!!!!!I still remember, it sent shivers through my spine. The reason is again the academic institutions which surrounded my hostel. He called me and I complied (my survival instincts asked me to do so!!). But thankfully the 'uncleji'-type-student-neta-ji gave me a BIG scolding and left me and left the room as well!!!!!
But that guy was afterall much worse in looks and appearance than these two and these two were of my age. So, it seemed all safe. They very gently formally asked me to come out for a walk till the hostel-gate while we talked. Seeing no harm, I joined. No sooner had I crossed the hostel-gate, one guy started hitting me from the back side while other held my arms.
I was TOTALLY dumbfounded!!!!!!! Who the hell wont be?????
Thanks to Jawahar's survival instints which was more customsied to Patna than mine. He sensed something fishy and started collecting few students while following me to the hostel-gate. The funny part begins here!!!!!
There got around 20-odd students gathered at the hostel-gate watching me being beaten, that too by just two guys!!!!! But thankfully, that gathering attracted the attention of Ramnareshji (the mess-owner-cum-cook-cum-cleaner-..-..) who came to the gate, gave a loud verbal thrashing to the two guys and surprisingly they left me and 'walked' off!!!!!
I still remember vividly that night. It was a big big jolt to me. Not only me and my batchmates, even the BSc seniors found it difficult to believe that I might have given somebody reason strong enough to do this. Anyway, I sometimes feel happy about this, in hindsight,that I got the experience that when you get beaten, physical pain is not that big an issue. Its other things, the scare, humiliation,feeling-of-helplessness, weakness, that eats you more.
Two days after the episode, Tinku bhaiya (son of an uncle of mine with whose family, I stayed for 2 months when I first moved to Patna and had yet to get hostel-acco) came to my room, for the first time (I frequented his place to get some nice home-food and nice time chatting with aunty and badi and chhoti di and bhaiya so there was no need of him to come to my place to meet me). He informed that a very close friend of his told him about my thrashing (and he added that the thing I got beaten with was a revolver-butt!!!! As if I was not scared enough!!!) and had asked him to ask me to keep a low profile!!!!!!
What the heck!!!!! No warning, nothing and you thrash a guy and then tell him the reason he cant comprehend!!!!! Anyway, I thought it better to leave the episode aside as it was not comprehensible and I also knew that is was way better than Pranay, a schoolmate of mine, in the same college but in another hostel, who got beaten almost every week (But everybody agreed that he gave lots of reasons to the local goons to do that. You can imagine the type of guy he was, by the fact that he quit IITKgp after two years over there just coz he didn't feel like it. (Went to Caltech for summers, stayed back for the full semester, came back, had altercation with his profs and quit Kgp!!!!)
Thanks to my many friends who gave me emotional support back then. I remember Sharad offering to get those two identified through some friends of his and then get them beaten. But then when I thanked him for the offer and expressed no desire for any such thing, the relief on his face was evident :-).
Now in hindsight, I find the episode so funny. Not an iota of remorse about it. Maybe strange, but thats the way some experiences are like. The moment they happen to you, they mean a lot to you but, once they pass and you move on, they seem to be so insignificant, you get surprised how could it ever affect you.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thickness of a book: Should it not be proportional to the idea beng conveyed

Sounds absurd what do I mean by the title.
Well, title maybe totally uncorrelated to what I intend to write.
Anyway, presently I am reading a book called "Blink" by Ian Galdwell. Its a good book.
I really like the entirely new concept the author exposes his thoughts/logic about.
What I don't like about the book is that it puts LOT many small examples to convey what it wants to prove. I am not sure if its required. But if he doesn't do that, maybe the book wont be even quarter as thick as its now. Result, maybe we are done with reading it in 1/6th of time than now. (I agree it also depends on the target audience, majority of which needs lots of illustrations to get the message across. I myself am one though, sometimes)
The thing is that we retain the idea/messege/influence as long (or a bit longer) as the person's-work or person's-reminiscence or the person himself/herself is around us and we are able to interact with it/him/her. ("Out of sight, out of mind" types). I think I would have been a much greater fan of Gandhi ( I am already a BIG one) had I met/talked to him once than by reading so much about him. Thats what personal touch does to you. It just bowls you over. But but but, you can let your mind controlled by it if you so wish and can do the contrary as well (We are gifted with a strong mind with which we can control or drift, at will)
Same with books, unless they are in sync with the idea/concept somewhere inside you or unless they are really revolutionary. If you already have that concept, the book's effect lasts long(er) as it reinforces the thinking you aleady beleive in. If its really revolutionary (rarely books are so. There are people who can do this to you more effectively, than books), you accept the idea since it appealed to you and hence the effect last, if you put efforts to that.
But for other books which don't fall in any of these two categories, the influence lasts as long as the book takes to be finshed (or a bit more). Maybe that way it makes sense to keep the book thicker. You read "blink" and then later on if I come-up with a book called "Deliberations", written with equally strong intent of proving higher-importance of deliberation to spontaniety in decision-making, you may realise that you are now attracted towards that book.
ANYthing NEW/DIFFERENT appeals to us. But they are not lasting. They are a welcome change like innumerable revolutions which the masses later realised, were equally worse as the earlier regime. Same way, since this spontaniety-funda is new to us, we like the book. We MUST be open to new idea, but should not get carried away just becuase its different/new. Our inner-self definitely deserves more respect than this.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

faith in God brings the virtue called patience

While walking back from the bus-stop to home, after attending an all-Deutsche full-day 'kurz', I was thinking about wat else but patience.
As with many ideas, this one also struck me out of the blue.
"Faith in God teaches you patience"
(BTW, this reminds how so many times, by thinking for few minutes in quietness in restroom, I have solved my many circuit-design-problems than hours of brainstorming in front of my workstation !!!!!!)
When you don't have faith in God, you unintentionally, try to surpass your circle of influence. This is obvious since you beleive that everything that happens to you is because of you and hence everything that you want to happen to you, has to be done by you. As a result, like anybody else, you start working on any priority thing.
Let me try to be patient and explain it to you.
When there appears a wound, you try to heal it using some medication you are aware of. If it fails, you try few more times before finally visiting a doctor. Now once you are at a doctor's place, you have to patiently wait for your turn/time when doc's attention is bestowed upon you. You wait not because you are patient (you already tried curing it, remember? ) but because you are helpless and have no choice.
(I am just trying to convey my point, no offences meant to any pool of thought).
Similarly, if you have faith in God, you have the advantage that you don't try to cross your circle of influence (in fact, sometimes you don't even fully exercise it for fear of outstepping) and wait for things to happen (fact remains that God doesn't do anything but the infinite events occur which, with present tools/machines/knowledge, we can't model accurately) - some person responding, some boss coming and talking to you for your benefit etc. etc. - and it generally works out. It works out, not in the truest sense, but because you already had accepted whate'er the outcome of infinite events are ('Generation/Organisation/Destruction = GOD).
Well, to be back on track and to remain true to my title of the article, how does this still prove patience-thing.
Well, for that, I again go back to the doctor-visit analogy. Similarly, for things which you think require your immediate attention, and you think it to be under your control, you don't wait to solve, howe'er patient person you are (since it has nothing to do with patience) but start solving it. And since you are mistaken with the thought that things are under your control, you immediately act.
You sometimes put some people into uncomfortable situation by overstepping into their zone and they are too nice to immediately react (remember, they are patient people and they react only once they are sure you don't realize you are making a mistake and hence you may not stop unless and until told so, in clear terms). It has its own advantage ("kichar mein se kamal nikalna", i m able to find some advantage!!!!!). You force people, not with any such intent, to come clear and you don't have to work hard on deductions based on social-norms, beahvioral-patterns etc. etc.

(Got to goto some dinner now. If something to be added is felt, I'll do so later else please consider this as the end of the article)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Is it only me!!!!!!

I have lost count of how many people suggested me to be patient. The people whom I have lots of repect for and trust on.
Well, some people think this is beacuse I act and THEN think and then act again to compensate for it. I have tried and analysed myself on it, quite a lot.
(Well, if you have read engineering, underdamped systems are unstable, overdamped are very slow and critically damped are the best choice (with some risk of instability). Same with patience/impulsiveness. If you are very patient, you act quite slowly, though mostly correct. If you are very impulsive, you act fast with the repurcussions associated with it and in status in-between, you trade-off some risk with time)
Actualy, the contrary is true. I think a LOT. I am not talking about it in positive/negative sense. For every action I am going to take, my mind has already thought N possible options about it from the viewpoint of how it may affect me, how it may affect the person it concerns and is this really what I wanna convey and many more such things . But since the other concerned person is guided by so many rules and learnings-of-their-own-which-I-have-no-inkling-about and their-own-value-systems etc. etc., I can never satisfy myself if a particular action is the right one.
Result, it has almost become my habit to act the way I think is correct. But the problem is my mind is STILL thinking. The thing is that it is now thinking with the extra enlightenment of the occurrence of the action-taken. So, the more the information you have, the higher the probability of correct decision you make. So, then I try to correct thing by reacting, which, not unjustifiably, is interpreted as compensation for something. My forgetfulness also adds to my sorry situation (perceived so by others).
But still, the most important reason why I fail (very often I do) in striking it right, the first time (or even the 2nd/3rd/4th/../ time), is that I have yet to grow up to understanind how majority of human-minds think. I am pretty bad at it and I am surprised how almost 90% of the people are good at it. This is possibly due to my way-of-thinking being different from the majority and also my reluctance to change it (it needs some self-convincing afterall)
Anyway, somehow I have survived and survived with 100s of really great friends. So, maybe my hastiness/impulsiveness scares the short-time-acquaintainces (hope this improves sometime soon) but they themselves in the long-run, generally don't mind putting up with it with the hope that yours truly, someday, would learn and overcome this weakness.
He indeed does hope/wish/try to be/do so.

Friday, August 08, 2008

I love the festival fo Rakhi: As long as I am away from home

I remember, very clearly, the tension I used to have one day before Rakshabandhan.
Before I go into details, let me add that "Rakshabandhan", like innumerable indian festivals, has got a theme and the one associated with this festival is that of the relation between brother and sister. Brother is supposed to take care of his sister, protect her from Allauddin-Khilji-types-road-side-romeos or sometimes even from Rana-Rattan-Singh-types-boy-friends of his sister (even if, very probably, she may not like it that way)
Anyway, the reasons I used to get tense on the previous evening of rakshhabandhan had nothing to do with protecting my sisters - the days,when I used to get tense during the pre-rakhi(popular name for the festival "Rakshhabandhan" ) days, my sisters used to protect me from my "friends" (girl or boys, whatsoever) (it could not continue long since I moved to hostel pretty soon) -. The reason was just associated with yours truly.
Well,rakhi started with the theme of brother committing to protecting his sister, but gradually, as with everything, people realised that protection/security can also be sold/purchased as a commodity, the thing "protection" got converted to "money" for the convinience of all. When did this transformation take place, I have no idea, but I have seen it that way since the first day I remember about it. In rakhi, sisters tie a band to the brother and the brother gives her some money. Whatever the amount of money was, it always seemed HUGE to me (even if it was some money which my mom gave to me to be passed on to my sisters, once they had tied the band). This feeling of money being big-amount came probably because I was too dumb a kid back then who used to give all his financial gifts ( you get it when you meet your elder relatives like your grandma or uncles and aunts) to mom and my sisters used to keep it with them and hence any more money they got during rakhi, made me relatively poorer.
Not just the financial drain that I can avoid once I am far from my sisters, makes me like the rakhi-from-distance, but there is another much more significant advantage I gained out of being farther from home-town during the festival of rakhi.
I am so happy that I dont have to worry anymore about a particular nice-beautiful-charming-sweet-..-.. girl from my neighbourhood tying me rakhi!!!!! (remember the theme of rakhi)
When you are a kid, your emotions regarding the opposite sex is just not given any respect. Its treated with so much insensitivity, I am surprised. Anyway, what happens is that if you happen to have some girl around who is not your sister, but she is around at the time when the band (btw, the band is also called "rakhi", same name as the festival) is being tied to ur wrist, that girl would also be asked, in 'courtsey', to tie one rakhi to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its such a dilemmatic situation, one needs to think sometime to come up with some diplomatic answer to accept or to deny this offer of tying a band symbolising sister-brother relation between the two !!!!
Well, many guys dont mind spending money on a beautiful girl, but not this way, for sure. You give her the money for tying the rakhi on ur wrist and also, u accept her as your sister!!!!!!!!!!
So, its anybody's guess now, why all the worries and tension.

PS: I must add that I did witness some remarkable change in this hypocritic gesture of asking another girl to tie a rakhi, even if she is not your sister, even is she happens to be around. Few years back, I mismanaged my vacation-timing/place and happenned to be at a cousin sister's place during rakhi that year. But I was pleasantly shocked to find that no other girl was asked to tie me rakhi except my cousin . But anyway, I had learned how to handle such situations (you really become street-smart if you start living in a hostel (that too one like mine) since your are just 12 years old). Back then, when I didn't know, nobody helped me, rather made things worse for me!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2007


Many a times I wonder who is the better of the two: Peter Keating or Howard Roark. Actually every individual (almost ALL) has traits of both the two. These are two orthogonal sets and every human being has a projection on these two axes. Unfortunately the projection on the Keating axis is much higher than on the Roark axis. And more unfortuante is that every individual would say that he/she admires Roark. Despite knowing what is that you wish/revere, people don't strive towards it but towards the easier path which just makes a hollow personality. Since the the majority is like that, Peter Keating makes much better impression than Roark, in the world.
But then, why doesn't Roark evolve and change to Keating. Because, the biggest happiness comes from within, not from appreciation/good-words from others. Hence Roarks do exist but they wonder why doesn't the world really do what it says it wants to do!!!
The world is so much used to getting impression about people by what they say about themselves, than what their actions speak for them. And this unfortunate hyprocrisy of the world, puts people who are really straightforward/honest, in unfortunate situations. But do such people care?
Yes, they do. As I said, such people do have some Keating component (a minor one, of course) also in them. That part comes because human being is afterall a social animal. Maslow's 4th level need does exist in them. And since the world really lacks Roarks, Roarks get dependent on likes of Keatings to understand, and hence appreciate them and here they yield to their human weakness :-(.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


"I am not a supporter of Globalisation", said Sven, a colleague of mine. This gave me a big food for thought!!!!!
Most of the advanced countries resort to statistics and probablity to understand/predict the behavior of the society/market and other such non-quantifiable things. We will simply follow their tradition. Not because I want to follow them but for the simple reason that they are correct here.
Isn't it more probable to find the best of brains amongst 1 billion than 200 million and much more in comparison to 8 million.
Also, isn't it more probable that more people means more capabilities, more varied interests.
Would a filthy rich country like Norway, bacause of its oil, remain so if it were to sell its oil only inside Norway?
So, would Norway be worse off without globalisation or would India be. Well, if no globalisation means no trade with other countries, India would definitely be better off than Norway. But fortunately/unfortunately, its not so.
When people say No to globalisation, what they mean is no redistribution of wealth anymore, not after the polarisation of wealth occurred due to many factors, spread across past few hundred years.
I believe highly in capitalism/freedom. (Selection based on rejection criterion, there is no better option, at present). So, every country/people/individual has the right to chose the form-of-trade or economic-policy it wants.
But this works very well for already-rich nations as long as the BIG manpower nations' people are more charmed by short-term goals of geting the best in their lifetime but not concerned with longg-term goals for the nation.
For the economy to grow, recirculation of wealth is very essential, the more the cycle goes and more vigorously it runs, the more the economy grows.
If Norway and India decide to close their economy and grow with their indegenous products, who would obviously grow more and full. Of course India. with the population and size it has, and as i said, higher probability of talents, India would have much better scope.
Anyway, the law of equilibrium would make sure that there would be lots of dynamics going on, whether you hate duncan or like closed economy, things would keep moving towards the direction of equilibrium which would stop only once the whole world acts like one country with maximisation of benefit of all but of course with weightage of skill-sets taken care of.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

NATURAL FEEDBACK SYSTEM in the society and its behavior

Gandhi freed India. Had he not done that, wont it have happened?
It would have - just the occurrence might have got delayed.
The colonies got free. Not Sun Yat Sen, not Gandhi and nor Atlee were the essential reasons. They just expedited the inevitable.
I believe in the surprising stability of the god-made natural feedback system which is present everywhere - from tangible to intangible things.
Why does the good prevail generally and not the evil.
There is nothing like good or bad, truth and evil. Nothing is absolute.
Its only that in the feedback system, which evolved or was made by god, the reference input is the truth, the holy, the correct and its that which is good. rest all are evil and untrue and bad. so whatever are the reference inputs got defined as the virtuous words.
Hence its not the truth which prevails, but what prevails is truth coz the system is designed such.
If, in the system, some noise such as a murderer running free in a society, develops, the feedback system helps him nabbed. The whole system starts working in correcting that noise as the stable feedback system doesn't allow that as a valid ouput and hence suppresses it.
Now comes the question how does the society etc. become part of this feedback system. Maybe the original one, when created was one, but how does the new one, the new society formed, the new babies born , the new countries become part of this feedback system and help it.
I believe, again this arrangement has been made by god (or evolved). we learn about the reference inputs to these stable systems through the religion or moral-science which are gist of learnings from history percolated through teachings by the scholars.
Why does religion exist? Because of this very reason.Even if you dont agree to the above given modus-oprandi behind the stability of the system, this doesn't take much ignited brain to accept that religion controls extreme emotions of human beings.
It teaches us to follow those follow those virtuous values and hence, in my philosophy, help the system (social system) become stable by helping in the direction of reference input.
(PS: for the people who don't know about feedback systems, few minutes of googling would suffice to understand my logic)
Religion is the strongest of emotion. But strangely it doesn't teach people to go against the reference inputs (which you call as virutes, in common langauge). Why? Of course becuase the history has taught that going against those virtues has failed. The nature's stable feedback system has always proved too strong for those noise. So, the religion simply teaches us to go with them, simply to be in harmoby with mother nature's (or God's) will!!!!!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Great Nice days of Yore

I wrote an article long back on whats the lovliest thing one finds. Its elusive. its something which you dont have.
Same applies to the best days of our life!!!!!
Ask somebody if he is having the best times of his life, he would always have days of yore to recall as the best days of his life.
If not natural, its definitely most probable answer. Its quite obvious, if people get satisfied with the present, world would come to a standstill !!!!!
But y m i writing such a serious thing when serriousness is never my forte and this thing is too bland and obvious to be written.
actually this was inteneded to convey this to somebody but if one's words and actions cannot convey, I am deadsure, writing just wont :-)
Or its not so? But nothing can be done anyway, not bacause of helplessness, but for the reason that EVERYthing possible has been done :-)
Anyway, I have definitely lost the regular readers of my blog because of suddenly going so dormant. But volcano needs to erupt just once and it agian becomes a strenght to be feared!!!!
So, i hope i need to start firing again and i'll hv new readers of my blog :-)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Reserving around 10 thousand seats to improve the condition of 300million!!!!!!

Isn't it the most ineffecient way for welfare of a community whihc is 300m strong!!!!!

Thursday, March 30, 2006


If you want to explain to some kid , the for loop of programming,
give him the book "Panchtantra"!!!!!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

again heard it on tv

heard it on tv. its soo.... nice

dekh faansi ka yeh fanda
khauf se hai kaanpta (shivers)
uff. ke zalladon ki halat
bhi badi mushkil mein hai
sarfaroshi ki tamanna
ab humaare dil mien hai

I dont know if Bhagat Singh was the composer of it or not.